On Mind Reading...

There are a few people in this world that I would like to ask a few questions, most of them being members of my childhood. But right now there is one particular girl that I would like to talk to, and I mean really talk. None of this edging around the one thing we both want to talk about, but are too afraid of the other to mention.
This girl would be Michael's ex-girlfriend.
This requires some clarification. Generally the word "Ex" brings up images of horrible people who do horrible things and are just all around bad. But this girl isn't like that. She's a lot like me in fact, but far more out going and way better at life than I am. I wish I knew her better. I mean, we talk occasionally...and I know who she is and everything, but...I want to talk about the one thing we always avoid like it were the plague.
Michael.
I want to share experiences...I want to get her advice...I want to know if...
If what I'm feeling is really love...
Because sometimes I wonder...It all feels so superficial for me sometimes...and it's not that I don't care deeply for him, cause I do, but lately...
I just don't think I'm ready to commit myself to someone for forever. I want to get out and see the world on my own and come back and know without a doubt that he is the one I want!
Don't worry, he knows. I've given him all summer to enjoy, and I've given myself all summer to prepare, then when school rolls around...I guess it's back to singlesville for me.
But I still wish I could talk to her, because reading her thoughts, talking to her...she seems to have a much better grasp on this whole God and Love thing than I do...More than what I've learned from Hollywood and church lessons I never really dove into...
I want to be confidant like that...I want to feel so sure of everything I profess to believe...I'm so hungry for truth right now and I can't feel it...
But I'm too much of a coward to ever ask, so I'll be stuck this way, trapped in my immaturity and shortsighted teenage attitude.
I wish I was someone to admire...